THE PIRATE COTTAGE is moving one week from today to Brigham City, Utah.

 

Rita and I are both from small towns (Elko, NV and Sheridan, WY respectively). Brigham City is about the population of our childhood homes, and we're still within an hour of the Salt Lake City airport should we need to go anywhere. Thanks to the Internet, I can conduct guerrilla warfare and continue to write novels the goal of which is to…well…short-circuit people's brains.

It's only a mater of time until my TIME MAGAZINE op-ed piece on finally stomping out cybercrime (see https://lnkd.in/gXkKUKMZ) becomes the only acknowledged solution to today's plague. How long are my old buddies Larry Ellison and Marc Benioff going to put up with the inadequate protection offered by Congress?

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Hit Man

Remembering My Old Man

He'd be about to turn 103 this Father's Day. At 97, I still worked NYT crossword puzzles with him, and played brain twisters with him from the Seattle newspapers.

When I was 12 years old, he said, "Rick, you're old enough to play cards for money. If I win, you and your brother Marsh work for me all summer. But if you win, you split the winnings." Since he was one of 23 attorneys in a town of 10,000 people (Sheridan, Wyoming), the law practice was his hobby. He supported the family as a professional gambler.

I agreed to play the Hollywood/Oklahoma version of Gin Rummy for a penny a point (my brother swallowed hard when I took the bet). But I had a pretty good memory for cards and cleaned out dear old dad. That was the best summer me and my brother ever had.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

In Memoriam: The Candy Bomber and Frank Herbert.

 

In this last week since Memorial Day, I've been thinking about two of my heroes who I hope got to meet in the hereafter: Gail Halvorsen, the famous WWII CANDY BOMBER, and Frank Herbert, author of DUNE with whom I became friends and who urged me to run for congress in 1978. I see Halverson's son amost every week as I work in the Draper Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I'm about to submit a homage to Herbert in a novella THE TACTFUL SABOTEUR. When Frank sponsored my almost-successful race for congress, he said I reminded him of his short-story character "The Tactful Saboteur." My novella is a modern-day update of the concept. But this isn't about me or my writing. I just want to reminisce on two people who dramatically affected my creative view. Halverson makes me try to emulate the charity of the CANDY BOMBER, and Herbert gives me a shining star toward which I strive in my writing. Anyhow, Gail and Frank, I hope you got to meet in the far beyond. Sincerely Yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

One of my writer's group designed an Earth Day postage stamp when he was 13 years old.

 

The third Thursday night of every month for the last 11 years, a writer's group meets at my house to critique each other's novels-in-progress. Over that time, we've published seven novels (with 5 more in process), one anthology of award winning short stories, and are negotiating movie/television deals.

One of our cabal is Brian C Hailes, who is also one of the judges of Galaxy Press's ILLUSTRATORS OF THE FUTURE contest. At 13 years old, Brian competed with 150,000 grade school children in an environmental design contest sponsored by the USPS and McDonalds. He was one of 4 winners, and for the first time the USPS actually put the designer's name on a postage stamp. 5 million stamps. McDonalds gave him unlimited food for 3 years (a growing teenager's dream come true). And the town of Millville, Utah made Saturday, April 29, 1995 BRIAN HAILES DAY.

Small world. Frank Herbert, author of Dune and one of the creators of EARTH DAY, also supported me when I ran for congress in 1978.

Expect big things from our not-so-fledgling writer's group.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

I learned all I know about psychology from the 1960 movie PSYCHO.

 

My folks took me and my 12-year-old brother to see Psycho in 1960. Because there wasn't assigned seating yet, my brother and I sat together, and our parents sat elsewhere. Sweet mother! We sat behind an elderly couple who laughed all the way through the scariest movie we'd ever seen. Right then, I came up with my net-net for nut jobs. You're neurotic when you walk into a room, hear someone laughing, and think they're laughing at you. You're psychotic when you walk into a room and hear someone laughing, but there's nobody in the room. Period. Any questions. I have met several bonafide psycopaths in my life. I only dare mention one here, because he's dead and can't show up at my door with a chainsaw. His name was Stanley Dean Baker. I met him in my 8th-grade social studies class in Sheridan, Wyoming. I was showing a friend how to shine sunlight through a magnifying glass and set paper on fire. The next day, good old Dean Baker brought his own mangifying glass and shined it on boxelder bugs crawling across his desk. They'd slow down and then…POP! I can still hear Dean's laugh. But the best part came in high school. Dean took to kidnapping and murdering hitchhikers and then eating them. He finally got caught in a stolen car by a California highway patrolman who probably had to go into therapy for years afterward. Dean said to the officer: "I think I've got a problem," while taking some human fingers out of his pocket and munching on them. I kid you not. Google Stanley Dean Baker. He went to prison and later, as a totally reformed pillar of society, when around to high schools talking about the evils of Satan worship. He's dead now. I have my own private list of psychos for whom I keep checking the social security death index. Whenever one pops up, I may celebrate his leaving Earth in this blog. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

This Steve McQueen movie BULLITT made me decide to go into advertising.

 

In 1968, I was in college majoring in mathematics. The BULLITT scene where the bad guys were following McQueen changed my life. Suddenly, McQueen turned the tables and sneaked behind their Charger in his Mustang. What did the goons do that changed my life? The Charger driver calmly buckled his seatbelt, ready for business. How did this change my life? Simple. Until this point in my young life, I'd ignored the public service messages singing, "Buckle up for safety, buckle up…" What a waste of air time. But the role model of serious people getting down to business behind the wheel by buckling up was GREAT. From that point on, whenever I got behind the wheel of my car, I buckled up. Now THAT WAS ADVERTISING THAT WORKED. Hollywood morons insisted that people don't emulate characters in movies and sued ClearPlay for allowing people to edit what comes into their homes. They said it violated the right of writers/directors to have their creative output altered. What unadulterated crap. Congress actually told Hollywood to back off…or else. Good call. Thanks, BULLITT. Seatbelts have saved me more than once. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

My wonderful history with HORROR MOVIES and the new technology that lets me create memories for my grandkids.

 

When I grew up in Sheridan, Wyoming, my parents owned a drive-in theater. I saw every movie between 1952 and 1963 at least three times. My favorites were horror movies like Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Werewolf. Naturally, when I raised my own children, I delighted in watching Friday night's CREATURE FEATURES, or KOLCHAK THE NIGHTSTALKER, or taking them to ALIEN. In that first ALIEN, I noticed they all had their hands over their eyes. So I said, "Hey, you know Tom Skeritt isn't going to die, because he's the star." The signed and uncovered their eyes just as the alien monster killed him. Heh heh. Signorey Weaver was the star! I went home that night with black and blue arms from getting punched. Early on, I told the kids how I learned to deal with nightmares about monsters. I'd turn around when the monster was about to pounce and say, "Let's go have a peanut butter sandwich upstairs." In the history of advertising, that original Frankenstein movie (where the little girl was picking daisy's by the stream) inspired the greatest political ad of all times: Tony Schwartz's DAISY commercial, which ran only one time on one network and completely destroyed Barry Goldwater's presidential campaign. Now, thanks to ClearPlay on-the-fly DVD movie-editing (I put them on the map with their first WSJ ad), I created a new family tradition with my grandchildren: I play the cleaned-up (no foul language from Woody Harrelson) movie ZOMBIELAND. One of the great lines from the movie involved zombiekiller rule #2: DOUBLE TAP. In fact, in her church talk prior to leaving on an LDS mission for Chile, my granddaughter Aimee was challenged to use the term "double tap" in her farewell talk. Not only did she cleverly use it, but the other speakers that Sunday mentioned it in their talks. Double tap. Words to live by. Interestingly, one of my Wall Street buddies ran a brokerage firm. While he was at lunch, is brother Sean Cunningham met with his team and funded the movie FRIDAY THE 13TH. I still remember that knife going through Kevin Bacon's heart from underneath the bed. Besides ZOMBILAND, I haven't seen a horror movie in over 30 years. It's just no fun, now that the kids are grown. In fact, most of my grandkids are married with their own children. But it's about time for me to introduce my growning heard of great-grandchildren to the edited version of ZOMBILAND. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

When I was 8 years old, I wanted to be Harry Houdini.

 

The 1953 movie where Tony Curtis played Harry Houdini inspired me. My folks owned a drive-in theater in Sheridan, Wyoming. I saw every movie that came out between 1950 and 1963 three times. I became an official member of the magicians union (kids sign up for every mail-order scam going). I read all the biographies of Houdini. I begged my dad to borrow some handcuffs from the police, which he finally did (he was a lawyer). He even took me to jail, where they locked me up, handcuffed in a cell. Getting my handcuff lock pick out of my butt cheeks was tough, given that I'd been cuffed from the front. But I managed and amazed the local constabulary. I still have my own set of handcuffs with which I amaze an occasional Sunday School class to this day (no, I don't do the butt-cheek-pick routine any more). But I guess showmanship and wonderful magic caused me to gravitate toward entertaining guerrilla warfare advertsing. Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Let me know if you'd like to see some real magic. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

Heaven help us from being deluged with AI-generated recruitment ads! The dead giveaway: "We're looking for story tellers."

I've been checking out new technology companies needing CMOs and VPMs. I have yet to see anybody who claims total uniqueness. In fact, all the "About this Job" postings look to be generated by the same AI engine. How long, oh gosh, how long…?

So I guess I'll hunker down and rip out another sci-fi novel. Sure, I use AI to do research and to generate proof-of-concept Python code. But no AI has ever touched my creative writing. And it never will. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

My best guess on the reality of UFOs/UAPs is in my novella TABERNACLE CHOIR ALIENS.

 

No, I don't contend these guys are in the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. That was just window dressing. I contend the City of Enoch is about to return to Earth. I wanted to post this in advance in case I'm right.

You can get the audiobook at TABERNACLE CHOIR ALIENS

Sincerely Yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

I just wanted to be one of the famous writers who played poker with Rick Castle in the TV series CASTLE.

 

Back in 1978, when STAR WARS producer Gary Kurtz gave me 5 posters and a Darth Vader Helmet, they were filming the next STAR WARS movie. I asked if I could be one of their storm trooper extras, and that I'd even pay my own expenses to fly wherever. Alas, he said that wouldn't be possible. Sigh.

I had high hopes for my first novel, DESTROYING ANGEL. Then the television series CASTLE came out, where mystery writer Rick Castle played poker with real-life bestselling authors James Patterson, Michael Connelly, Stephen J. Cannell, and Dennis Lehane. Alas, my novel got GREAT reviews but didn't put me in the orbit of best selling. Drat.

Heck, G. Gordon Liddy got to be on MIAMI VICE. And I even would have loved to play a bad guy on NYPD BLUE. I've written all my novels as if they were movies. DESTROYING ANGEL, DADDY'S LITTLE FELONS, and THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF HARLEY & HIS DOG would all have made blockbuster movies. But no dice.

Yo, David Ellison Films, my ads helped make your dad his first billion dollars at Oracle. Any chance Skydance could use an enthusiastic extra in the next Jack Reacher series?

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

May the 4th be with you. Here's STAR WARS producer Gary Kurtz giving me a Darth Vader helmet.

 

In 1978, Gary had a private collection of Darth Vader prototype helmets, one of which he gave me in trade for one of my inventions (a voice stress analyzer which I had anodized in black to commemorate Darth Vader). Gary is dead now, and I keep the helmet locked in my safe.

In 2000, Gary also gave me a great review for my first novel, DESTROYING ANGEL. Too bad it didn't get made into a movie. Maybe I'll get it out today and wear it when answering the door? Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

When are we going to see some knock-down/in-the-gutter competition for A.I. leadership? Come on, Elon, show yourself!

We need to see some open-field running to suck the air out of A.I. marketing. Darn it, but I'm chomping at the bit to get a client with guts to take on the world. Siincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

A note on all the A.I. posts: I have yet to see one that claims uniqueness.

 

That's right. We are lost in the wash of "me-too" ads. Whenever a new client approaches me with their AI story, I simply ask "What do you do that nobody else can do." I get a lot of throat-clearing noises. If you have an AI story that can start with the headline "No other AI can adequately answer this question," then give me a call. I'd love to do some open-field running with you. Sincerely Yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

This would have been a GREAT scene in a movie from my novel DESTROYING ANGEL. I could even have been a Broadway stage masterpiece.

 

From the beginning, I wrote my novels to be made into movies. DESTROYING ANGEL could also have been a Broadway musical. Here's a scene in which BJ, who doesn't yet know he's being groom to become the real Destroying Angel, has a meeting with John the Old Testament Revelation prophet atop 727 flying from Los Angeles to San Francisco. The plane is flying at 30,000 feet. Obviously, only two immortal beings could be in this place at this altitude.

To do this cover shot, that's me in the white suit. And that's the REAL BJ (Brian Johnson) who I've been trying to relocate after lo these 26 years.

Sincerely Yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Here's a link to the scene. Enjoy! http://rickbennett.com/BJatopA727.pdf

Does anybody know where BJ (Brian Johnson) is? The last address I have for him is on Potrero Hill across the street from the Anchor Steam brewery in San Francisco.

 

Back around 1982, Brian Johnson (aka BJ) was a tekkie at Synapse Computer. He was bigger than life, and I ended up putting a BJ-like character in my first novel: DESTROYING ANGEL. BJ once laid a slick with his Harley in front of Synapse president Mark Leslie's office, which damn near got him fired. But when the carpet guys came to replace the carpet and heard the story, they replaced the carpet free. Seems the carpet guys were also bikers. I have lost track of BJ and had no luck finding him. Help! You can't lose track of old friends. The last time I saw him was in 2000 when I had dinner at his house with he and Carla Perumian. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

Darth Vader in Exile, a movie I made with some Boy Scouts one summer.

 

I had to get a license from not only Star Wars Corporation, but a music license from the Bee Gees and Abba, all on the condition that this movie would never be used commercailly.

Yeah, I took a summer off and then ran for congress. Luckily I lost and had to go into guerrilla warfare. Had I won, I wouldn't have met Tony Schwartz (his Daisy commercial ran one time on one network and destroyed Barry Goldwater's presidential campaign). Tony taught me real GUERRILLA WARFARE.


Sincerley yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

The second-best logo ever created. #1 goes to Sun Microsystems

 

I designed this logo for my first novel: DESTROYING ANGEL. I've owned the .com URL for over 25 years, and worn the logo on my black shirts for as long. But I must say, the Sun logo, made up of "U" creatively, is IMHO the best ever. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

Remembering Frank Herbert (author of DUNE and co-founder of EARTH DAY) on EARTH DAY.

 

Frank and I became friends back in my media superstar days, when I mentioned that DUNE was the "greatest science fiction novel ever written." He called and said that since I'd used his name "in vain" we should get to know each other. Over the next few months, he promoted me to run for Congress in the state of Washington. I won his district (Port Townsend) but lost the race. He held an environmentalist rally for me near his home, and I confess my desire to save the planet with hydrogen-based technology and solid-state batteries has only grown over the years. Here's thinking of you, Frank. Sincerely yours, Rick Bennett Ad Hit Man

My appearance on NBC's TOMORROW with Tom Snyder

 

Amazing. Sixteen minutes on national television. The interesting part? The previous week we had a church "slave auction" to raise money for charity. I offered to mention you, your family, or your family business, during my upcoming appearance on the TOMORROW show. Toward the end, see how I delivered on that promise, promoting Pick's restaurant in Issaquah, Washington. Yeah, I crack myself up.

By the way, Pick's restaurant paid $50 to the slave auction.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

My TODAY SHOW appearance 48 years ago.

 

I think I came up with a great one-liner when I talked about my Hagoth voice stress analyzer's potential effect on society: "Either there will be an emphasis on telling the truth in your conversations, or there will be a renaissance in letter writing."

I guess I was into guerrilla warfare my whole life?

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

My appearance on GOOD MORNING AMERICA 48 years ago

 

Entrepreneurs need to find what I call a "media anomaly," or a media platform that all the network TV assignment editors use to get unique stories to air. I found one in a now-defunct magazine called THE NEW TIMES. I flew to NYC and dropped in to their offices to personally deliver a press release. A few weeks later, a short blurb appeared in NEW TIMES, after which I started getting calls from all the network television shows. Here's my appearance on GOOD MORNING AMERICA with David Hartman.

If you have a unique story (unlike all the AI-wannabes who say the same old thing), find today's media anomalies (yes, Grasshopper, there are some). Get them to cover your nobody-else-can-do-this story, and you too can become a star.

Caveat: I don't recommend you believe your own PR. I believed mine and sold the company to run for the U.S. Congress that very year. Of course, I'm glad I lost the election. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten into guerrilla warfare.

Here's the YouTube link to my GOOD MORNING AMERICA stint:

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man