Cyber Privateer

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Just like in the movies ENDER'S GAME and THE LAST STAR FIGHTER, I wanted to do an ad where you could predict success factors of new hires by observing their online game success.

This ad for Spring Lake Technologies and client Stephen D'Angelo is as far as I got. I still think Sony could make a fortune giving gaming-profile access to recruiters. Selah.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Friday, February 13, 2026

Attention Texas Instruments executives relocating to Lehi, Utah: OPEN HOUSE FOR THE ULTIMATE HOME NEAR YOUR MULTI-BILLION-DOLLAR FACILITY. Open house is Saturday, February 14th, from noon until 3pm.

Just 3 miles up the hill from your new facility, this executive home is ideal. It's above the Utah inversion most of the time, yet just 6 minutes to work. Check out the Zillow listing at https://lnkd.in/g33HyPma

Pros:
• HOA takes care of all grass mowing and landscape watering.
• Driveway snow removal is an optional HOA service.
• Soon to be gated neighborhood.
• Wonderful neighbors: Across the street is a (non-LDS) former chief weapons officer for a nuclear submarine; to his right is a (non-LDS) entrepreneur who made his fortune inventing testing for airline components and who has invented an anti-drone defense system, five of which he's donating to Croatian countries abutting Russia; your next-door neighbor (LDS) is a retired army contractor responsible for nation-wide weapons logistics; around the corner is (LDS) a retired navy captain who has the singular accomplishment of having had a dial-a-yield nuclear device roll off the palate and crush his foot.
• Home protected from north winds by berm.
• Morning sun melts ice on driveway (while the neighbors on the other side of the street are buried in snow for weeks).
• Suncrest is the mountain biking mecca of the Salt Lake Valley.
• Open house tomorrow (Valentine's Day from noon until 3pm).

Cons:
• The last 3 miles of your bike ride are always uphill.

To the people below: Please let your soon-to-be-relocating friends know of this.
@aw.khan1929@gmail.com, @fielding Sarager, @https://lnkd.in/gm8hyZcn, @ https://lnkd.in/gw39fbZH, @https://lnkd.in/grM9AJVz, @https://lnkd.in/ghaJxwMK, @https://lnkd.in/giftvF-7

Tuesday, February 10, 2026

The Pirate Cottage is for sale. Open house on Saturday, February 14th, noon-til-3 PM.

Because I turn 80 this year, and the last three miles of my bike ride is always uphill. I need to live someplace level. In the last 30 years, I've accumulated almost 150,000 miles on my bike, and it's contributed greatly to my health and vigor.

Interested in a creative den, complete with Pirates of the Carribean skull? I've written 3 novels here. It's protected from the north winds, it's above the inversion most of the time, and the sun shines on the driveway to keep it pretty clear of snow (the neighbors across the street get buried in snow). The Zillow link is: https://lnkd.in/g33HyPma

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Saturday, February 7, 2026

I proposed this ULTIMATE personal-injury attorney ad that my friend could use to shake up the world of ambulance chasers. Alas, he didn't bite.

If you're a law firm that wants to blow up all those have-you-had-an-accident television ads, please use this with my permission. You'll have 'em howling like werewolves at a full moon.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Friday, February 6, 2026

My attorney friend asked for help with a baseball coach's lawsuit against KeyBank. USA TODAY refused to run this ad in a regional edition.

But we sent the ad to KeyBank execs! I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when a giant rush of pus hit their brains.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Background: Welcome black hats, white hats and cyber swashbucklers

The Revolutionary War was fought, financed, and pretty well WON by bonded privateers, legalized pirates who were given Letters of Marque and Reprisal by the Continental Congress and authorized to attack, capture and monetize British ships. The purpose of this site is to explore the possibility of a modern-day doctrine much like the Monroe Doctrine, by means of which the U.S. government could legally and, more importantly, effectively stop international hackers. Current cybercrime law is not only ineffective, but downright stupid. My Linux servers are attacked hundreds of times a day (mostly from China and former USSR domains), yet if I retaliate against those servers with some creative technology at my disposal (I know some VERY smart guys), then I am in violation of federal law and subject to some onerous penalties. We need more than a new law. We need a new international doctrine. I call it The Morgan Doctrine, named after Morgan Rapier, a fictional character I've created (hey, this is my way of establishing ownership of the concept, should it ever see the light of day).

Why a new international doctrine? Simply, nothing else will work. Introduced on December 2, 1823, the Monroe Doctrine told the world to keep their hands off the Americas. Combine this with current legal thinking on "hot pursuit" of fugitives. In 1917 the US Army went into Mexico after Pancho Villa. More recently, in 1960 Israeli Mossad agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from Argentina. Granted, much of the world regards the Eichmann adventure as a violation of international law. I don't share that opinion and therefore use it as the third leg of my Monroe-Pancho-Aldof platform for The Morgan Doctrine.

If someone comes into your home and attacks or attempts to rob you, you may shoot them dead. You may do so as long as they expire on your property. But what about cyber criminals? They attack you in your home from their homes. Retaliate in kind, and you go to jail. The Morgan Doctrine states simply that if you attack my computers (or my banking assets held in US-based computers), then under a certain set of well-defined conditions, a licensed and bonded "cyber privateer" may attack you in your home country and split the proceeds with the U.S. government. For the sake of argument, let's call it a 50-50 split (heh heh).

Right now, American law enforcement is completely unequipped to deal with the sheer number international cyber hackers. Sure, I could report each of the thousand daily attacks to the FBI, as could the millions of other attackees in the USA. But the volume of such reports would make any meaningful resolution laughable. Not to mention that the FBI has no jurisdiction outside the USA. Yet to make such "enforcement" profitable to recognized (ie, "bonded" "deputized") privateers, as Heath Ledger's Joker said in his last role, "Now you're talking!" You raid our bank accounts, we raid yours. You make money from off-shore child pornography, we're going to loot your bank accounts and, with some REALLY creative black hat operations, you will be taken off the grid worldwide to the extent that you'll not even complete a cell phone conversation for the remainder of your miserable depraved life. Okay, that last part probably won't fly, but you get my drift.

The purpose of this site is to explore the mechanics, legalities and practicality of The Morgan Doctrine.

And I will be the sole arbiter of whether or not your comments get posted. As Mel Brooks wrote, "It's good to be king."