Cyber Privateer

Tuesday, February 10, 2026

The Pirate Cottage is for sale. Open house on Saturday, February 14th, noon-til-3 PM.

Because I turn 80 this year, and the last three miles of my bike ride is always uphill. I need to live someplace level. In the last 30 years, I've accumulated almost 150,000 miles on my bike, and it's contributed greatly to my health and vigor.

Interested in a creative den, complete with Pirates of the Carribean skull? I've written 3 novels here. It's protected from the north winds, it's above the inversion most of the time, and the sun shines on the driveway to keep it pretty clear of snow (the neighbors across the street get buried in snow). The Zillow link is: https://lnkd.in/g33HyPma

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Saturday, February 7, 2026

I proposed this ULTIMATE personal-injury attorney ad that my friend could use to shake up the world of ambulance chasers. Alas, he didn't bite.

If you're a law firm that wants to blow up all those have-you-had-an-accident television ads, please use this with my permission. You'll have 'em howling like werewolves at a full moon.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Friday, February 6, 2026

My attorney friend asked for help with a baseball coach's lawsuit against KeyBank. USA TODAY refused to run this ad in a regional edition.

But we sent the ad to KeyBank execs! I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when a giant rush of pus hit their brains.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Thursday, February 5, 2026

My client ran for president in 2016 and wanted to link up with Trump in the Boulder, Colorado presidential debates

Scott Smith is the smartest economic mind in the USA. Yes, this was a LONG SHOT ad I created for him in the Wall Street Journal. But Trump was unbeatable.

A few tinfoil-hat conspiracy theorists believe that JFK got assassinated because he wanted to eliminate the Federal Reserve Bank. Whether or not this is remotely possible, that's just the starting point with Scott. But eliminating income taxes AND the Fed would be a heck of a move for a gutsy president.

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Wednesday, February 4, 2026

SCHOOL OF ROCK! I'll bet you can tell when I wrote this ad.

Something about Jack Black awakening kids of all ethnic and socio-economic classes rings true, here. What better place to brag about educational equity than in Plano, Texas? Google it. Even today, Plano outpaces the Texas state averages. You really can achieve equity in education with a high immigrant population!

Sincerely yours,
Rick Bennett
Ad Hit Man

Background: Welcome black hats, white hats and cyber swashbucklers

The Revolutionary War was fought, financed, and pretty well WON by bonded privateers, legalized pirates who were given Letters of Marque and Reprisal by the Continental Congress and authorized to attack, capture and monetize British ships. The purpose of this site is to explore the possibility of a modern-day doctrine much like the Monroe Doctrine, by means of which the U.S. government could legally and, more importantly, effectively stop international hackers. Current cybercrime law is not only ineffective, but downright stupid. My Linux servers are attacked hundreds of times a day (mostly from China and former USSR domains), yet if I retaliate against those servers with some creative technology at my disposal (I know some VERY smart guys), then I am in violation of federal law and subject to some onerous penalties. We need more than a new law. We need a new international doctrine. I call it The Morgan Doctrine, named after Morgan Rapier, a fictional character I've created (hey, this is my way of establishing ownership of the concept, should it ever see the light of day).

Why a new international doctrine? Simply, nothing else will work. Introduced on December 2, 1823, the Monroe Doctrine told the world to keep their hands off the Americas. Combine this with current legal thinking on "hot pursuit" of fugitives. In 1917 the US Army went into Mexico after Pancho Villa. More recently, in 1960 Israeli Mossad agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from Argentina. Granted, much of the world regards the Eichmann adventure as a violation of international law. I don't share that opinion and therefore use it as the third leg of my Monroe-Pancho-Aldof platform for The Morgan Doctrine.

If someone comes into your home and attacks or attempts to rob you, you may shoot them dead. You may do so as long as they expire on your property. But what about cyber criminals? They attack you in your home from their homes. Retaliate in kind, and you go to jail. The Morgan Doctrine states simply that if you attack my computers (or my banking assets held in US-based computers), then under a certain set of well-defined conditions, a licensed and bonded "cyber privateer" may attack you in your home country and split the proceeds with the U.S. government. For the sake of argument, let's call it a 50-50 split (heh heh).

Right now, American law enforcement is completely unequipped to deal with the sheer number international cyber hackers. Sure, I could report each of the thousand daily attacks to the FBI, as could the millions of other attackees in the USA. But the volume of such reports would make any meaningful resolution laughable. Not to mention that the FBI has no jurisdiction outside the USA. Yet to make such "enforcement" profitable to recognized (ie, "bonded" "deputized") privateers, as Heath Ledger's Joker said in his last role, "Now you're talking!" You raid our bank accounts, we raid yours. You make money from off-shore child pornography, we're going to loot your bank accounts and, with some REALLY creative black hat operations, you will be taken off the grid worldwide to the extent that you'll not even complete a cell phone conversation for the remainder of your miserable depraved life. Okay, that last part probably won't fly, but you get my drift.

The purpose of this site is to explore the mechanics, legalities and practicality of The Morgan Doctrine.

And I will be the sole arbiter of whether or not your comments get posted. As Mel Brooks wrote, "It's good to be king."